“I heard that 85% of what we worry about never actually happens. I figure this is good news…because it seems that my worry is productive. I worry, and consequently, 85% of those calamities never see the light of day!”
Well, that’s one perspective, but in reality, it doesn’t rid us of the worry and fear that can grip a mom’s days and nights and skew her perspective.
My son just got his license…will he get home safely tonight?
What if the youngest falls from a tree?
If a storm comes up while they’re out on that boat…
Fear is really the mother of worry, and it’s easy to let this pesky duo rule the day. Understanding some truths about fear can help us shut down fear’s field day.
Fear is a paralyzing emotion. It keeps us from doing, going, reaching out, moving forward.
- Consider what you may have missed—or what your children have missed—because of your fear. But don’t stop there. Vow to “let it go.” Remind yourself in fearful moments, “What am I standing in the way of?”
Fear doesn’t share well; it crowds out all the good around us and makes us miss the joy.
- Think back to a time when your fear got the best of you. The word “joy” is probably nowhere in that picture. A replay of that time leaves no room for wonder, excitement, or new opportunities God may be calling you to. Now replace that memory with a time you can remember stepping out in joy and fun and wonder with your boys.
Fear is based on a fallacy—the misconception that we can control everything around us.
- Who’s in control? It’s so easy to think we moms make the world go around. When we shed that misconception, we can rest in One who is greater. There’s freedom in realizing you are not the bottom line, Mom. Psalm 46:1,2 reminds us:
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear…”
It’s freedom, not fear that we want to pass along to our sons.
But how do I get rid of worry and fear?
I say, look up and look around.
God will help us with our fears if we only ask, but we can’t go to Him with tightly clenched fists…we have to open our hands and relinquish our burdens. We have to drop them at His feet. We have to let go and trust Him to take care of our boys, our families, and us.
And once you’ve looked up, remember to look around. Moms need community, so don’t try to go it alone. Find another mom to encourage you. Let her be a blessing to you, and be one to her, too.
Fear paralyzes us, narrowing our focus and blinding us to all the blessings around us. But when we shift our focus to the One who takes care of everything, He crowds out the fear. We may not understand what God’s doing, but we can rest in His love for us, and trust His heart. We can remember his words:
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will up hold you with my righteous right hand.”
Reach out for His hand, Mom, and banish your fear.
Model trust for your boys and they’ll learn to lean on the One who’s really in control.
More Resources
Some practical steps for dealing with worry
Excellent resources on fear and worry from Desiring God Ministries
My Picnic Basket: And How God is Always Near – a children’s book by Mary Manz Simon
A Parent’s Guide to Anxiety – an article from Today’s Christian Woman
How Can I Face the Future With Confidence – from Christianity Today
