Dear MOB Society,It’s so hard for me to watch my son make bad decisions when I’ve told him over and over to do the right thing. He just won’t obey, even though I clearly know what’s best.
I feel like such a failure. Can you help?
He had lost one tooth already. And at his cleaning in early December, the dentist confirmed what we already knew-that if his other front tooth didn’t come out soon, we’d be back to have it pulled. My heart sunk.
December rolled on with daily reminders from me to my six year old son to wiggle that tooth. We traveled to my parents, we traveled to my in-laws, and while in the snowy north, a bottom tooth fell out, tumbling down the inside playground slide in front of him.
I was frustrated and worried, and I couldn’t escape the foreboding feeling that we would be back at the dentist having a tooth pulled. But when you are six and other teeth are loose, those are the ones you play with!
I wanted to hold his face in my hands and say, “Do you know how painful this will be??!” But we can’t say these things, can we? Instead, that perfectly placed, not-at-all loose front tooth chewed and chewed on me, in the back of my head.
I felt like such a failure.
Should I have reminded him more? Should we wait longer? Give him more time? What could I have done differently?
The day came.
All day I prayed for my little buddy, scared that he would dread the dentist after this trip. I struggled the whole day with the idea that if my son had only obeyed my small instruction we wouldn’t be returning to the dentist to have his tooth pulled.
And then I remembered how I don’t obey small things I know the Lord reminds me of, which can cause pain and discomfort, not just for me, but for those around me as well.
Obedience matters in the small and the big—that was my lesson at the dentist. (My son learned when you get your tooth pulled, you get an extra prize from the treasure chest! He did pretty well and already, less than a week later, the new tooth is coming in).
In hindsight, I realize I was not (and still am not) a failure.
But there may be some motherhood moments that make us feel like a failure. Plug your ears to that voice, because it is NOT the voice of truth. The Creator made YOU to be the momma to your child-yes YOU. No one knows your child like you. He has given you special discernment and a heart just for them. You are not a failure, even when they don’t do what you know is best.
We are on a journey that requires a lot of grace-for our kids and for ourselves. I pray He affirms your motherhood today. You are something special.
You are treasured.
Kristi Griem is a mom of two and works with Freeset. She is fascinated by the small ways in which God speaks to us when we least expect it!
This post is part of our first series of 2014, Hope for the Messiness of Motherhood. Find all of the posts in this series here.
The entire month of January 2014, the MOB Society (for mothers of boys) will be offering hope for the messiness of motherhood as they address real reader’s feelings of failure as a mom. Join us!
