Welcome to Guest Post Month at the MOB Society! Today’s post is a fun piece from Paige Rien, a designer at HGTV’s Hidden Potential for three seasons, and mother of three boys. Please welcome her!
If you have sons, you know that boys move constantly, and often at a fast pace. I’ve watched my oldest jump with all his might on my favorite piece of furniture, leave mysterious smudges on my drapery and cover a loved lamp in scotch tape. I used to think this is an unwinnable war. That is, the challenge of maintaining an aesthetic other than that of refugee camp.
But I don’t think so anymore. I don’t believe surrender is the only option either. Surrender in the house is problematic because the “phase” of boys being big stainers, and brawlers and breakers of things is not brief, and let’s face it – the world we’re preparing these boys to live in is full of places that they can’t touch. These lessons are best learned at home.
It’s important that we as parents have a place to call our own.
I think many people overlook this very basic need. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but everyone deserves to see beautiful things in their own home. So when you say, “I have kids, so, I can’t spend money on my house right now,” or “I have boys, I’m not putting my good stuff out!” Or “our living room/diningroom/bedroom is the play room right now,” it puts that fundamental need we have to be fully self-expressed, to see beauty, to feel like an adult, on hold.
Here are a few ideas for your war, or really, your peace mission to reclaim your home:
Outdoor fabric & rugs – Outdoor fabric and rugs, many of which are made with some form of polypropolene, have gotten much better and are downright beautiful. Best yet, you can power-wash them. This is especially key for rugs. Outdoor rugs are typically prepared for an onslought of preciptitation and mold and other inclement outdoor hazards, so your boy traffic is a piece of cake. Try HomeDecorators, Overstock or Ballard for good outdoor options.
Beautiful containers – I got this tip from my sister-in-law, Julie. You name it – rattan, wood, ceramic – what’s inside is theirs (LEGO’S, army men, nerd bullets), but what’s outside is what you like to look at. Always be on the look-out for pretty containers – don’t be confined to “bins” or obvious choices. Think about interesting laundry baskets, hampers, chests, storage ottomans, etc.
High-on-the-wall-shelves – Invest in wall shelves the day you find out you’re having a baby boy. At my son’s 12-month-check up, my pediatrician said, “it’s time to pack up your breakables,” as my walked-at-nine-months toddler ripped the door off the storage cabinet in the exam room. I thought to myself, no way am I ever doing that. I’ll just teach him to respect my things. I’ve heard legends of girls this works with, but this did not pan out with my extraordinarily active and curious son. Wall shelves have the possibility to add architectural detail and structure to a wall, and keep your littles away from breakable objects. Win-win.
Playful pieces – I believe in composing a house with everyone in the family in mind. I have playful pieces mixed in with pieces that suit my adult side. I have a bright salmon-colored monkey-eating-peanuts, table, which the kids like to talk to. (It doesn’t talk back.) I have art, not intended for children, that they find interesting. A bit of whimsy goes a long way in telling kids they’re welcome in your house. Look for art that speaks to everyone on etsy.com.
Hearty pieces – I don’t buy things that have an easily scratched finish or that can’t be jumped on. I don’t buy things that don’t do well with water or other liquids poured and then left on them. This isn’t surrender – it just means I opt for heartier pieces.
Teachable Walls – I believe everyone can benefit from walls that make a strong statement. Art can do this, maps can do this, and meaningful prayers do this very well. Art slows boys down as they run past, words entering the brain, even when we don’t know it. Walls are also a way for me to convey our family’s values. My favorite teachable wall is at the top of the stairs where I have the St. Francis Prayer in a large letters. It’s a reminder to me as I dive into end-of-the-day routines, usually running on empty.
Get them involved – They are really never too young. Let them try out paint colors you’re considering, or “help” hang art on walls. Ask their opinion on everything you do in your house. Let them know early on that making the house interesting, fun, and beautiful is not just mom’s responsibility, it’s a job shared by the family.
Acceptance, grace, some rules – One of the best things I ever did was read Michael Gurian’s The Wonder of Boys. It’s helped me see my boys as they are, and it helped me take it less personally when they break/stain/step-on/ruin something that I like in the house. The book also encourages me not to just throw up my hands and say, “boys will be boys.” There’s a difference between acceptance and indulgence. I have rules, and I let a lot go. I compose our house with, and for, the family God gave me. The grace comes as I notice that their influence makes my house more interesting – when they steer me in a particular way that turns out to be fabulous, or when I sit back and realize that we are building our house together as a family it become a more beautiful place for all of us.
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Paige Rien is the mother of three boys and expecting (probably another boy) in March. She is a designer and author of the forthcoming book, Love the House You’re In, and two boys ago was a designer on HGTV’s “Hidden Potential” for three seasons. You can read Paige’s tips and house-love-journey on Facebook: facebook.com/lovethehouseyourein
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It’s been a crazy few months here at The MOB Society, and through it all you faithful readers have stuck with us, encouraged us, and celebrated as we rebuilt the site from scratch. For that, we thank you. To show our appreciation, we will be offering giveaways throughout the month of November. Today we have a copy of Ann Voskamp’s new book, “The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas” to give away to one faithful reader. Follow the prompts below to enter. We will choose the winner one week from today.
I have two boys right now and, though they are lower key than most boys I know, we’ve had our fair share of dump truck crashing and furniture climbing. My favorite piece of furniture is a heavy duty, black, leather bench that we use instead of a coffee table. The kids can put stuff in it or they can pull everything out and climb into it themselves. They can climb all over it an jump off. And it’s still a beautiful piece. My second favorite thing right now is a cupboard with doors in our living for their toys and books. I can close the doors and my living room looks neat again!
Well, I officially have to start looking for a salmon-colored monkey. 🙂
I decorate with thrift store finds and clearance items. This way when something inevitably gets ruined, we don’t freak out as much. I don’t do expensive or dainty…I do durable and cheap!
All of our boys sleep in the same room and we used another bedroom as a playroom. It keeps the entire house clean and works really well for us!
I have given up, everything gets broken in my house with 4 boys. I really want to reclaim my home, but it seems an impossible task.
This is great advice. I like to keep decorations simple anyway, but I’ll keep these tips in mind as my son grows up (he is only 19 months now).
Pictures. I love having pictures out and the boys do too. We have a tiny house and an even tinier budget so not much gets decorated.
When my boys were younger and we were dealing with therapy needs, my family room was “surrendered” to them so we could have a trampoline and swing for occupational therapy but we still had beautiful wall colors and furniture where it fit. Now, I have things that I have collected that tell a story and enjoy telling them about them. It has created a love of antiques and vintage in my boys.
We are actually trying to get this going in our home now. We’ve been slowly working into it and trying our best to keep the living room as a room for all of us, but, it must be taken care of too. Thanks for sharing the lovely ideas.
Great tips! Thanks!
Very cool. I have to kept to a very minimal amount of home décor cuz everything pretty just seems to get broken. We have 4 boys age 6-13. Life is busy and I am over-stimulated most of the time. 🙂
Prefect timing on this post!!! I don’t want my home to be perfect, I want my boys to feel comfortable to be boys, but I also don’t was my house to look like the inmates have taken over! I got so tickled by the ‘nerd bullets’ typo! Still giggling! (yes I have the sense of humor of a 15 yr old )
Wow, I was surprised by how good these tips were, and by the great heart behind them – I guess I was expecting just another piece of cleaning advice (which always leaves me feeling stressed and guilty). I really love the way you’ve chosen to see your house as a place to create beauty and build memories.
I like the idea of the nice looking containers. I have the downstairs in my house that has the good furniture/kitchen area. The upstairs has the playroom/bedrooms with old furniture they can jump/climb on (doesn’t bother me) and decorate how they wish.
Trying to use something they have made to decorate as well as pictures of them and keeping things simple so their isn’t much to worry about them breaking. 🙂
Love this! My boys are now 12 and 15. When their friends come over they go in a back “playroom” – I guess they are probably too old to call it that but the name has stuck – and that room has all very sturdy furniture, etc. One thing that always helped me is that I have never bought new furniture – all my stuff is hand me downs (not on purpose, just the way it is here 😉 ) but it helps me to not take my stuff so seriously. I do have things that I love and would be heartbroken if they were broken so those are put away. Our house is eclectic and has colors and design elements I love but it is lived in – I don’t want the museum look anyway. We had a few household rules as far as our household stuff and it seems to work for us. However, in the interest of full disclosure, my youngest did break 7 different lamps before he was 6 years old. It’s sort of a family legend at this point.
I love the idea of nice containers. 🙂 I’ve done bins for so many years. Now that my boy is older, and bins come out less often, I feel like I can use prettier things that might be a touch more fragile. I saw a bench with fabric style bins underneath that I really really like. I’m saving up for that. 🙂
Love these ideas. And could really use some help with sibling rivalry/difficulty getting along (possibly due to 4 yr age difference)/instigating- finding seeming joy in upsetting one another as a pastime between my sons.In my home, I keep our bedroom (which also has a sitting area) off limits to the kids. It’s all mine, but the rest of the house is open for the kids, although there are still expectations of respect of the home.
Thank you! As the mother of a very creative, strong-willed, curious four-year-old boy, I really needed to read this today! Sharing and tucking away for all the days when I feel like I am losing the battle… Also, our daughter with special needs has so much ‘gear’ and I was feeling like it was taking over every part of the house! Time to at least get it into pretty storage bins.
I have always thought about an outdoor rug to use inside. And I can power wash it? Wonderful! Thank you for this awesome and practical post!
Great ideas! Sturdy baskets are a must, as well as outside-the-box storage ideas, like an old TV armoire repurposed as a toy cabinet and a small dresser to hold art/school supplies. Easy to clean fabrics save my sanity – microfiber couch with removeable cushion covers (had to place mine in washer after toddler poured dish liquid on couch), cotton covers on the throw pillows, cotton throw rugs in front of doors.
Wonderful tips. As a mom of four boys and two girls, I get you!
My Little Man is only 2 1/2, but there is a reason he has the nickname ‘Doctor Destructo’ (or Doctor D). Good suggestions, gonna have to think on them.
Luckily, my interest in decorating is fairly minimal, but I haven’t yet figured out how to fully implement my ideas with Little Man around.
I love scented candles. I have to put them up high, but I still love them. 🙂
Putting things up high, candles, pictures on the wall! Always looking for more ideas. Loved this post!
I move the decorations on the tree after they go to bed…lol
MY mantle! becasue it’s high and relatively out of the way they don’t get too into helping”
I have quilt that my Grandma made me when I was younger that I get out every Christmas and I rarely let my kids touch it and I have a tree skirt that my Mother in Love made me when I was first married that I LOVE and use every year. The kids get to put the Little People Nativity on it. My PM nativity stays in my curio cabinet 😉
breakables up high and simplifying 🙂 i love the idea of decorating with teachable things. i’ve been wanting some maps for our walls and am now even more motivated to make that happen!
I never was very interested in decorating, but had some pictures to hang and put out. After several of them were broken I have not replaced them and we have very bare walls. Out of necessity we have become very simple and any valuables are put away. Too many ball games in the house.
Simplifying!!! And hanging my art in frames without glass. Ikea has some lovely ones! Also large graphic art hang with simple clips -inexpensive so if itgets destryed for some reason, its not pricey to replace.
I have learned to count the legos and action figures inthe floor as all joy
We send our boys down to the basement when they need to blow off some steam. They can roller blade, have Nerf wars or swing each other around on the Ripstick.
I love decorating with pieces that if my 1yr old throws, it won’t break, hurt someone, or break something.
We don’t decorate much but I love having our family pictures on the wall. There is a point where you can’t decorate much due to lack of budget though, so I hope no one feels that this is something they have to break the bank for. If your house doesn’t have it all…I encourage you to go read MOB Society contributor, Erin’s blog withtheboys.net and read her 31 days of not having it all.
Page: I loved you on Hidden Potential! I think I watched every episode there for a while 🙂 So fun to “see” you here. I love your tips. I have two pretty calm, older girls {8 and 10} and my 3 year old busy boy. We haven’t gotten into the destructive stage yet, though he does love everything rough and tumble and is so different from his sisters. I was recently bemoaning my lack of a space of my own in the house {I’ve been dying for a craft room/office}, and we have no extra space, so I recently took matters into my hands and am tweaking my dining room {which is rarely used} to also be my office/craft room. I got a large armoire to hide away all my craft supplies, and recently replaced a sideboard that had very little storage space with bookshelves with canvas bins. I love my new office/studio/dining room 🙂
My space is the dining room table – It’s high enough that little hands don’t pull it all apart :)Thanks for this awesome giveaway! I’ve really been wanting to read this!
I try to use my sons’ artwork as decor and my fragile (do not touch) things go on the mantel!
Maps!! Hang all sorts of them. old world maps and current maps. The kids tend to stare (I assume they are dreaming of far off advnetures)
I am enjoying this blog so much! The MOB Society is just what God ordered! <3
Thanks ffor the encouragement. I strive to “let it go” and enjoy the fact that they love using our couches as diving boards, finishing lines, targets, etc. We’ll get new furniture someday…then we’ll probably have grandsons. 🙂
My kids join me in the decorating. It seems to give them a sense of ownership and pride, and they often surprise me with their creativity and ideas!
I use my son’s artwork and let him have his hand at the huge chalkboard in our kitchen every now and then. I can change out the artwork and erase the board when needed.