Hello! I sincerely hope you all are enjoying this book as much as I am. I am getting so much out of it. In Chapter 4: Jesus Love All His Little Prodigals and Pharisees, the theme here is that no matter if your child is a “bad” child or “good” child, they need to know that the gospel is for them.
This chapter spoke of two children, Susan and David, one a rule breaker, and one, an adamant rule follower. Naturally, we’re more inclined to punish or correct the rule breaker while commending the rule follower for being (what society states) good. Both of these actions, as the author points out, are incorrect and can be harmful and damaging. Both types of children are in great need of the gospel. They need to know that they are both sinning in their actions. We come down on the rule breaker, praise the rule follower, but as the author reminds us on page 68, The law doesn’t transform the heart, it only hardens it in pride and despair.
When our children become the rule breaker, we must be careful not to condemn them in such a way as to say, “I can’t believe you did that!” We ourselves break rules all the time, because we are sinners. As such, we must also be careful not to give praise to our rule follower, causing them to believe that their good deeds rise above, thus making them “better”. It breeds self righteousness and removes the need for a savior. It allows them to think that they are perfect and couldn’t possibly need the atoning blood of Christ like the other child, because they are “good”. We, as believers, know this to be untrue. They need the gospel just as much as any other person.
In order for our children to fully understand this, the authors states we must continually confess to them our sins, explaining that we too break rules and try to justify what we did. Alternately, we need to also confess that we follow the rules and tend to feel superior to others for doing so. “Consistent, transparent, and specific confession of sin will help children see how their parents struggle with sin in the same ways they do.” (pg 71).
Ultimately, we need our children to realize that no matter their actions, good or bad, they are in need of God’s saving grace and that nothing they do can earn it or take it away. They can never be too bad to deserve it and they can never be too good to need it. This needs to be a reminder to them (and us) daily. Probably several times a day. If you feel like maybe you’ve missed the boat and have ruined your children, please know no one, not even you, can thwart His purpose to bless those who are His. (Eph. 1:11). Build your hope on the foundation of Jesus Christ, knowing He already accomplished it all. Give yourself grace, seek God, and “dazzle your children with the love of Jesus”.
Questions for discussion:
1. Have you ignored your little Pharisees’ need for a Savior? How can you help the Pharisees in your house see the greater law?
2. Is teaching you children about God’s generous love and mercy a new way of parenting for you? How? Have you been more concerned with teaching them about obedience?
3. How can we teach our children that the gospel is for sinners?
Please feel free to discuss the chapter and/or these questions in the comments. Can’t wait for next week!
I’ve always struggled with the story of the prodigal because, as the good “son” in the family, I felt frustrated that he seemingly got the shaft, even though he was the one to follow the rules and keep the family name polished. That was my role in the family while my younger brother went off and make all kinds of messes for my parents to clean up. And just like in the parable, they always seemed to pay more attention to his errors than my good deeds. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-thirties and heard a message on the Greek meaning of the words used in the parable that I was freed from the bonds of “rule keeping.” Basically, the father calls the prodigal a word meaning “Mature son, ready to take over the family business” and he calls the good son a word meaning “immature child, still needing to be guided and counseled.” It made no sense, until the pastor explained that the prodigal was the son who understood grace, realized he had nothing to offer and relied completely on the father’s love and favor to rescue him. The older son was still trying to make his deeds count as favor, depending on his own efforts to receive love and recognition. It was one of the brightest light-bulb moments of my life and literally in seconds all my anger, frustration, resentment and hurt that I had accumulated over the years just slid off. I realized that it is essential to be a prodigal, not a role to shun, and it changed how I viewed everything and brought such peace. Now, instead of a thorn in my side, the story of the prodigal is a fragrant flower that I love to share with others.
Jen Gunning´s last [type] ..A Gumball Lasts A Day
I can completely relate to your story! I considered myself the only “good” one out of all my siblings. I was following Christ, raising my children, taking care of myself, not dependent on my parents, doing things for myself…I used to say I was the “white sheep” of the family and I used to be upset that my parents would show more attention to my siblings. But through wisdom that the Holy Spirit revealed to me, I realized that I am just as much of a sinner and that, because they don’t have a relationship with Christ, they don’t have truth. So how could I possibly judge the things they were doing when they didn’t even know they were wrong. I apply this wisdom in raising my children. They are sinners, in need of a savior. Until that moment comes, I need to administer all the Grace I can and continue to rely on Christ to fill in my gaps. They don’t have truth. I can’t judge them as someone who should “know better”, because they don’t.
I really enjoyed this chapter. It has changed my way of responding to my boys’ actions. I believe it’s vital to our family because I have 3 boys and 2 are very competitive with each other yet very different in their behavior.
Hi would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m looking to start my
own blog in the near future but I’m having a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique.
P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
Steven´s last [type] ..Steven