I have four of them. So I know really well how to stereotype boys – and the truth about stereotypes is…sometimes they’re true.
But not always.
Dictionaries define a stereotype as a “widely held but fixed or oversimplified idea” or “a formulaic conception.”
Well, my boys are anything but fixed, simple, and formulaic. So there’s HOPE; they’re not “fixed” where they are. They’re people in process, as all of us are.
As much as I love my boys, I know there are some things they aren’t. And that brings hope.
Six things your boys (& mine) aren’t:
1. Done. They’re not done. God’s still working on them, as He is on me.
2. Perfect. Not my perfect, not my neighbor’s perfect. They just do fall short. (Like me.)
3. Untameable. Oh, I know it seems like it some times, but you can’t give up! I figure they need to be acquainted with the boundaries of polite society, remembering that they’re not done or perfect. And they do need the law just like I do. “Through the law we become conscious of our sin” (Romans 3:20) and we know we have need of One greater!
4. Little men. Well, sometimes they act like it, but inside is the heart of a child. I can’t treat them like I would an adult.
5. Unreachable. Scripture assures me that “neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).
6. Forgotten. No matter how far they’ve gone, One greater than me intercedes for them. “And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God” (Romans 8:27).
In looking at definitions of the word stereotype, I found a secondary meaning: a relief printing made from an original plate. And I thought, “That’s what I pray for—that my boys will bear the image of the Original.”
I know sometimes it’s marred and scuffed and covered with a few inches of dirt…but they bear the image of the Creator. He loves them, and He’ll not forget them.
What are some things your boys aren’t.
*****
COMING SOON!
No More Bull! A Resource Guide to End Bullying
My 2 boys are definitely not photocopies of each other and I have to remember that. I cannot treat them the same. One is shy and not at all self-confident and very compliant. The other is outgoing and very self-confident and a bit mischievous. I must remember they are different and treat them as such.
Well spoken. I too have to remind myself this with my 2 boys.
The one I have to remind myself the most is that he isn’t anyone else’s. He’s not my friend’s child…he’s not some author or blogger’s child. And although he bares some similarities, he’s not my mother’s child or my mother-in-law’s child either. He’s not the same as any other boy on the planet… he’s mine and I have to treat him that way instead of trying to treat him like someone else’s. We can gain from the wisdom of others but there is danger in comparing to others as well. It’s all in balance.
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I like this! It can be too easy to slip in to comparison and forget that God made each of our children to be unique and who they are. And I see big danger in comparing to others especially when there is so much you don’t see.
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This is a great piece, Laura! I love that my sons are never forgotten, are mine (and God’s too of course), and that no matter how much I struggle as a parent, they are never unreachable. Love it and thanks for the boost I needed today!
Jenny Sulpizio´s last [type] ..Write On, Mom!
Great post.
My boys aren’t… their daddy. Or my daddy. Sometimes I catch myself over-reacting to something the boys did because it reminds me of something I’m irritated about from my husband (their dad) or something my own dad did. They deserve a parenting response in proportion to their own actions (ignoring my birthday) instead of pent up 30 year old frustration over something my dad did (like forget my birthday). They deserve to hear clearly that picking up their dirty clothes is their job instead of hearing the overflow frustration from my husband’s dirty sock on the floor habit. Make sense?
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Absolutely makes sense! There are things my husband does that drives me crazy and when my guys do it, I have to stop myself from ranting about it. I try to use it as a teaching moment…this annoys me, and I’d rather it be done this way. (It usually has to do with dishes being put in the wrong cabinets…I have set places for things and hate it when I go to get something and it’s not there!)
liza lee grace´s last [type] ..Paint a world with words.
Oh what an encouraging post!! I have 6 boys, and I know that while they do the typical boy things, they are not the same. I love the last sentence of this post, and that is my prayer, also…that they will one day bear the image of their Creator. Thanks for posting!
My boys aren’t less than girls. They are not somehow subpar because there are 5 of them. (I get really annoyed when people tell me how sorry they are that I have 5 sons and ‘only’ one girl.)
Is not a small adult (you said this one, but it’s the one that sticks for me at the moment) — he’s advanced for his age – tall, well spoken, a reader and I must remind myself that he’s 6 and make sure my expectations match that.
My boys are not the simple-minded fools that media portrays boys to be. I’d write more but am afraid I’d start ranting…
liza lee grace´s last [type] ..Paint a world with words.
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