“Twin boys”, that was all I heard. As the doctor talked quietly with my husband, thoughts of what my sons would be like suddenly flooded my mind. Are they identical, I wondered? Would they look like their dad, with his fair hair and blue eyes or would they have dark hair and eyes like my own? Would they be into sports like him or would they be quiet little bookworms like me? Would they be wild like their older siblings? “Dear God,” I prayed, “please don’t let them be wild.”
Almost immediately my prayer was answered. The doctor had turned his attention towards me. As he looked at me with pity in his eyes he said, “There’s more. I’m afraid there’s been a complication.” He continued on and on as he proceeded to crush all of my dreams for the future. All I heard was, “Swelling of the brain, blah, blah, spinal taps, blah, blah, permanent disabilities, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” It would take months for my twenty two year old brain to grasp the full extent and seriousness of “intracranial bleeding” and “cerebral palsy” but in those first few moments I immediately knew that life was going to be very different than I had ever imagined.
And so different my life became. Somewhere along the journey from there to here, I became an unofficial card carrying member of the moms of kids living with disabilities group. There are no monthly meetings. We have no official logo, nor do we get group discounts at local theme parks, but what we have is a deep understanding of what it costs to live the uncommon life.
For my sons, the price was very high and paid in missed experiences and dreams that will never be. There will be no driving permits, no first cars, and no college. There are no hopes of preparing them for lives as missionaries abroad or helping them to be all they can be in the armed forces. So initially, educating them in the ways of God seemed to me like a farfetched dream.
With the responsibility of teaching my sons about our faith resting upon my shoulders, I quickly realized that over-teaching them would never ever work. So using bible stories, children’s programming, and everyday situations I slowly taught my sons about the Lord in a way that they could understand. Though initially it was a struggle of wills, mostly mine, it became as natural as breathing. Today, I am richly rewarded whenever I see them seeking out Christian programming, lifting their hands in worship, and listening to their squeals of delight when our pastor shares the Word. My sons’ expressions of faith are breathtakingly beautiful and it is obvious that they know and experience the true love of God.
From my vantage point as their mother, I am able to closely observe them as they serve as disciples of Jesus Christ and witness to the world around them. Never am I more aware that we are precious treasures in earthen vessels, then when I see the sweetness of their spirits, the gentleness in which they touch the hearts and lives of those we meet, and the purity of their love for one another. While watching them, I feel I get to glimpse a rare and lovely expression of Christ’s love for us all.
The word of God says that we are saved by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. I’ve given that a lot of thought over the years and I’ve come to the conclusion that while my sons may not be able to speak their testimony, their lives testify to the love of God. They may never serve as missionaries in foreign lands but they serve as ministers of the word right here in our local community without ever saying a word.
Remarkably enough I have discovered that, for all that I had planned to teach my sons about our faith, they have become my greatest teachers. Mostly they’ve taught me that while our lives are far from typical, our lives are uncommonly good.
Born in 1971, I grew up on a farm outside Georgetown, Delaware. As the fourteenth of fifteen children, I was raised as wild as the orchids that grew in the woods behind my childhood home.
In 2009, I began to write about my faith, my life, and our human condition. I am as intense and oblique as I am pointed and joyful. I am a member of the Poets on the Park literary group, a volunteer with Polk County School District, and a college freshman.
Having worked closely with the abused, aged and special needs populations for over 20 years, I am acutely aware of the substantial physical, emotional and spiritual needs of those around us who are hurting. My singular goal is to persuade others to see beyond the circumstances of their trials to the glory that God is developing within them. Firmly believing in the Word and its ability to mend broken lives, I seek to empower and educate those around me and inspire them to live extraordinary lives.
I am a mother of six, including twins with disabilities. I am employed as a marketing assistant for a privately owned Caregiver/Companion service. I reside in Lakeland, Florida with my husband, Lawrence, and our three youngest children.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my world with you.
Yours and His,
Beloved child of the Most High King