“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the (spouse) of your youth.” –Proverbs 5:18 NIV

My husband and I have been married eight years and have been blessed with two little boys, ages five and one. When it was just us, we often enjoyed a Saturday doing whatever we wanted, a continuously clean house, and took for granted the lazy weekends sleeping in. We were spontaneous and had “dates” (though we didn’t call them that) whenever we wanted.  Then came baby number one and our world changed, but it wasn’t too difficult to talk grandparents into taking just one for a night here and there once he slept through the night. Then, there came number two…he put all that alone time with my dearly beloved in perspective and shed light on the fact that we had forgotten how to court.

We’d heard of this thing called “date night” and we did it here and there but we were never very consistent. I consulted my “second mom”, a woman who is much wiser than I and has 25 years of marriage experience and three nearly grown children, about the fact that my husband and I seemed to have no time together now. I knew she’d been there and could give me some advice. She suggested that we institute regular dates (Thank God for wiser moms!).  So, we tried it and have been intentional and consistent about it for well over a year now. I can’t even begin to describe the depth that it’s added to our marriage and the enjoyment it brings both of us!

Here’s a few dating tips we’ve discovered along the way:

1. Put it on the family calendar!! Make sure you both know when it is and plan around it.

2. Plan in advance for your child care, don’t wait until the last minute and risk having to put it off.

3. You don’t always have to plan what you will do on your date or make it expensive, but if it’s a special occasion and you can afford it, splurge a little. We made a big deal of our date on our anniversary by staying a night in a suite and dinner at an upscale restaurant, but normally our dates are not that extravagant.

4. You don’t have to go very far, but try to change it up and keep in mind things you both like to do. For example, we live near and love the lake, so in the summer, we might take a nighttime boat ride after dinner out. Sometimes, we even like to just take scenic drives together!

5. It’s impossible to not talk about the kids the entire time, but try! Talk about your dreams and plans for the future, an upcoming vacation, things like that, but keep it positive!

6. It’s a nag free time…it’s not the time to mention he didn’t take out the trash.

7. Be consistent. Decide how often you will have date night…we plan it once a month, but sneak an extra in every now and then if we can!

8. Let your spouse know you are looking forward to it…text, leave a note, tell them…this is part of the fun….anticipation!

9. Last, but not least, take a shower! I know this sounds silly, but act like you are going on a date like you did before you were married…shower, put on something nice, make yourself smell and look good for your spouse.

Our oldest son is now seeing that we do this regularly and he’s curious. He knows that Mommy and Daddy enjoy date nights, even if we do leave him behind. He is old enough to identify that he enjoys having time with one or both of us by himself too, so often he gets to go on “dates” with either of us. Since he is beginning to understand what a date it, it’s a great way to show him that our relationships with each other are important and worth the effort.

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine; he browses among the lilies.”- Song of Solomon 6:3 NIV….So, take your spouse on a hot date this week! You won’t regret it!

What are your suggestions and tips for a great date night?

Summer lives in rural America with her husband and two young boys. She’s a mom and all the jobs that go with it. She is passionate about her faith, her family, schooling her boys, and helping out with the family business on top of a love for cooking, crafting, and being outdoors. She is the queen bee in a hive of testosterone…it’s never dull and always a blessing on the “Rains Family Farm”!