The Email
Her email resonated with my past pain. The ultrasound revealed a fourth boy. Hadn’t she prayed for a girl? Doesn’t God know her heart’s desire? Could I provide her comfort from my struggle?
Knowing my pain should not go wasted, I responded immediately, asking for her phone number. Amazingly her number began with (214)…the same as mine. I dialed, she answered.
The Phone Call
My lead-off question, knowing she was also from Dallas and we have a billion churches, was “Where do you go to church?” Her response was longer than anticipated. Differing religious background from her husband. Weekends spent at the lake. Past experiences with the church. She still expressed a desire to know Him more, especially in a time of desperate dependence.
After our hour-long conversation about boys, desires for girls, and comfort in knowing God has a plan bigger than ours, we scheduled to have coffee. It couldn’t be a “coincidence” we lived just minutes from one another.
The Coffee
I arrived and she ordered me an iced caramel soy latte. Already she ministered to me, a weary mom, when I thought I came to minister. For three hours we sat face-to-face in metal chairs, outside Starbucks, sharing her past career, Bible study experiences, boy joys and challenges.
My plan was to invite her to a Momheart group I have attended for the last two years. It was led by a mom of four older boys, my mentor. However, that morning our leader sent out an email explaining her mentor (yes, mentors can have mentors) had challenged her to “do something different” this summer. Since her four boys would be home for the summer she decided to take the summer off from leading our group.
Removing the Monday night commitment from my schedule, freed me up to suggest a wild idea. Why not start our own “MOB Society” group? Beginning with just four Mondays this summer and then seeing where it leads. She loved the idea. Her offer to host and organize the group sealed the deal for me.
The Meeting
After sending emails to everyone she knew with boys, the response was awe-inspiring. Eight moms gathered the first night. Eight moms responsible for raising up 25 men. Amazing! Like knights at the round table planning battle strategies and past defeats, we exchanged ideas from familiar territory.
Our 4-week curriculum was simple:
- Introduce ourselves and our boys, begin the discussion of “Good & Angry” (Turansky & Miller) Homework: What are the patterns/times when you get most angry?
- Report back on anger trends, discuss ideas for managing anger in those areas Homework: Apply strategies to help in those frustrating areas.
- How did your anger management strategies work? Give specifics on training obedience. Homework: Think of questions for mentor mom
- Visit from my mentor (mom of 4 boys) Homework: Defeating lies about son’s future with God’s truth
Our common bond is our duty to mother boys to become strong men. In exchanging stories of poop-smeared walls at naptime, brother’s battles, husbands who join in and stir up the ‘crazy’, and loneliness of being the sole girl, we don’t feel so alone. Hearing truth and success stories we leave reinvigorated.
I’m not alone. I have a sisterhood of MOBsters. Given the enormous responsibility to raise men who will lead their familiies, I need support from fellow boy moms. One mom described our MOB Society group as “boy mom therapy”. Come weary, leave fortified.
Do you know other moms of boys in your community? Have you ever considered meeting every other week?
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Are you a weary mom? Check out this comforting book co-written by our very own Brooke McGlothlin. It will be a balm to your weary mommy soul, we promise.
What a great idea, come from such an honest place. I wish I knew more boy moms, especially all boy moms, but it seems all the moms I meet locally have a majority of girls – and while I adore my boys beyond words, it does make me a little…out of step sometimes.
Kel´s last [type] ..Slacker Mommy-ing
Wouldn’t it be great if we could use this place (the MOBSociety) for you to find another boy mom in your community? Hmmm…
Heather´s last [type] ..What I’ve Learned from the First Week of First Grade
That would be fun to have a way to connect with other boy moms via here!!
Jessica Lynette´s last [type] ..USMC Graduation :: Parris Island
I feel that excluding other moms simply because they have a girl or two mixed in with the boys is counterproductive to making a safe haven for ANY discouraged mom. We all need support. Just because you are a mom of only boys does not mean we can’t share struggles, challenges and joys. And raising up godly women and men is as much as a challenge as only raising up godly men.
I have two boys and a girl. ( It’s sometimes my daughter who gives me the most challenges as she tends to be more headstrong than her brothers!) We should be looking to encourage any mom to find the treasure within her children, whether or not she has all boys or some boys.
{And I realize that I am saying this on a MOB site. But I think too often we look for ways to separate ourselves from others rather than embrace the differences and learn from each other.}
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Meet the AGErs
Jennifer, I’m glad you posted. I was beginning to feel discouraged here since I have 2 boys and 3 girls. My oldest boy is 27 (married and living a few miles away) and my youngest is 10. He’s an only child in a house full of adults and the adults are mostly girls now. My husband has chronic leukemia and very little energy for raising a boy. It’s all on my shoulders, although I know God has not abandoned me I feel the weight of the responsibility to raise a boy. He’s the only child of school age so I’m also homeschooling an only, in a way, but still need to be available to my other children. I don’t fit in any definite category any more. So, thank you for speaking out for those of us with boys but not only boys.
Sandra,
} And one day I was saying this yet again and I ran across that verse. I felt like He was telling me “Jennifer, you CAN do it, I have equipped you.” I have smaller ones (10, 8 and 4) so I am in a different stage of life than you, but even though our situations are different, His promises are still valid! 
One of my favorite verses of encouragement for this calling of mom/ teacher is:
1 John 2:20
(NKJV)
” But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you know all things.”
So many times I felt like “God, WHY did you choose me? I am so incapable!” {Homeschooling often drives me to pray…it’s better than going crazy!
When I am tempted to get discouraged {when I have explained the math problem for the umpteenth time and he still doesn’t get it, when she feels like she can’t write as well as her brothers, or when my other son just excels along and I can’t figure out why he is learning so smoothly and I worry if I am challenging him enough} I just remember that He has anointed me (dedicated me in His service to be a mom/ teacher)! And what I don’t know now, He will reveal.
Be encouraged Sandra He has equipped you to raise that young boy into a fine, godly man!
Blessings on you and your ministry to your family!
Jennifer
{www.agelementary.blogspot.com}
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Supercharged Science
Jennifer and Sandra,
Thanks so much for sharing your heart. I don’t think Heather meant to say that there’s anything wrong with having a mix of girls and boys, or that having all boys is somehow more worthy of our attention. There’s just something about meeting together with other moms who have the same goals and challenges, and same situations that is good. It seems comparable to MOPS or a daddy daughter dance to me. Those efforts are aimed at a specific population, to meet their needs during this season of their lives. Does that help?
And there is a similar amazing community for mothers of girls out there. Try the MOD Squad for specific encouragement for mothers of daughters (www.modsquadblog.com). Be blessed friends!
I’m so sorry I’m just seeing your comments Jennifer & Sandra. Brooke is correct. In no way was I trying to be exclusionary. Reading back the post now with your perspective I could see how it could come across that way. I was actually just excited to share a ministry God just brought to my life (wish I could share even more details about how God has worked in this group of women…). My heart is actually aching that you would be hurt. If you knew me at all, which of course it’s the online world and we only catch glimpses of one another, you would know it is not my intent. Again I apologize. More than anything I hope every mom of boys, girls, boys & girls can find community in real life. Thanks ladies. To God be all glory.
Heather´s last [type] ..Making Room for the New Girl
What a great idea Heather!
Keltrinswife´s last [type] ..Blatant Disobedience
I agree with what Jennifer said. Though I also have a daughter (who is a teenager with her own unique challenges) I struggle daily being a single mom to an all boy 4 year old. I have gotten lots of encouragement from your site and would hate to be excluded simply because I also have a daughter.
Jennifer {nice name by the way
}
Wow! You are one amazing mama! Your children are so blessed to have a mother who is so concerned with being the best mom she can be. Love fills in the gaps that we imperfect mothers can leave.
Blessings on you and your kiddos!
Jennifer
{www.agelementary.blogspot.com}
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Supercharged Science
Friends, this post isn’t meant to exclude anyone…just to offer ministry and food for thoughts for the mom who has all boys. There are lots of moms like that who read MOB Society and this is a site devoted to raising boys. Please don’t feel like we’re saying there’s anything wrong with having girls. But moms with all boys are a specific ministry opportunity, and it’s good for them to support and encourage one another. Sweet blessings friends!
I agree with Jennifer! Kids are tough to raise, boy or girl. I have two boys and a girl. And i raise them with the same principles. I enjoy reading the post and pray similar prayers over my daughter.
Audrey,
Amen! I too raise my boys and girl with the same principles.
Blessings!
Jennifer
{www.agelementary.blogspot.com}
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Supercharged Science
Maybe the answer is to meet every week with fellow moms, focusing on boys every other week and girls the other times. Then, those who have only boys or girls can come every other week ad those who have both can come weekly…
Or… Meet twice a month. Once for boy moms and once for girl moms…
Alana @ Domestic Bliss Diaries´s last [type] ..1 Skirt; 4 Ways
Alana, love your heart in wanting come up with a solution! Thank you! My heart in this post is to be available to the Holy Spirit’s moving. To see the hurting and provide a safe place for God to minister, encourage and empower. Boy or girl. In my case it was all boys, but it could just be moms getting together. Great ideas friend!!
Heather´s last [type] ..Making Room for the New Girl
Jennifer, I do understand your point of view, and the others that do agree with you. So why not have something separate for moms of girls; or start your own group of moms of kids? I think that moms of boys and moms of girls do face a lot of the same issues, but there are also separate issues. Some of us just don’t have girls!
MOB, thanks for the idea – I love it! I’ll strongly consider starting my own group in my community.
Thanks melissa for your encouragement. Really, really want God to be glorified in this. Hope you are able to start a group of some kind where moms are encouraged!
Heather´s last [type] ..Making Room for the New Girl
Not being disrespecful. But… how is me having 2 boys with a girl in the mix any different from someone having 2 boys? Boys will be boys no matter what the mix combination
It’s totally not different (except adding a girl would be harder!) I’m so sorry if anyone feels this post was exclusive to moms who have girls and boys. This was just my story. Not a model of the “perfect” group. God brought these women together, some who don’t even know Him. May He be glorified in all our efforts to draw our children closer to Him and to support one another in that process. Thanks Audrey.
Heather´s last [type] ..Making Room for the New Girl
The idea of meeting with mothers of just sons is to help encourage each other through the sometime letting go of “daughter dreams”. Most women before having children think that one day they’ll have a daughter. We’ll go shopping with them, plan for prom & of course their big day. Even as many MOBs are happy to have only their sons, there are times when being the ONLY female is rough. That’s why meeting together discuss those things is nice. I’m sure MOB Society does not mean to alienate women with daughters. However reading an advise/ministering Blog is not the same as talking to someone in person. If I say, “They always have the NFL channel on.” I want my friend to have been there, not just think it’s funny.
Thank you Sabrina for bringing up that point. The reason this particular MOB group started was out of hurt from the loss of “daughter dreams”. It was the “nevers” that ate me up…never attend my daughter’s ballet recital, never paint my daughter’s toe nails, never braid her hair…. Interestingly, we really don’t talk as much about not having daughters in our group. We talk a lot about general parenting, sibling relationships, aggression, obedience. We spend the greatest amount of time on our own hearts…controlling anger, developing the habit of gratitude. It truly has been a wonderful thing to be a part of. (thanks for contributing understanding in your comment).
Heather´s last [type] ..Making Room for the New Girl
Thank you fory our comments Heather and Sabrina. I love my two boys. I love being a mommy of just boys. But I get the “never” ideas. I would love to have a local group of boy mommies to hang with. All my boy-mom friends live far away.
Amanda´s last [type] ..why I keep choosing (most days) to live life to its fullest
Thanks for taking the time Heather and Sabrina,
I understand your perspective now. If my 3rd child had been another boy i would still be crying;o) 2 boys, 3 counting their father ..in the house is more than enough testosterone. Sometimes id like to hang them all out to dry! You ladies have a blessed and wonderful evening:,)
My friends and I have started our own MOB group. We call ourselves The MOB
We all met each other when our sons were in the same kindergaten class and happened to be on the same baseball team that same year. Since then we have invited other moms that have all boys as we have met them in our boys school. Four of us spent a week in a house at the beach this summer. We had 9 boys ages 4 to 9 and we had an awesome time together. From our beach trip we have started a MOB book club and we have had new moms come into our group through it. We will have our first book club meeting this week. My MOB has become my lifegroup!
I used to belong to a community MOB group, and it was nice because we focused on fun boy activities. I am one of those who longed for a daughter, but God had other plans. I am working through my feelings, especially as they currently go through the potty humor phase. But I found that most of my friends with daughters just didn’t have a clue how mothers of only boys feel left out as they plan all kinds of girl activities. It seems like there are tons of things for mother/daughter and father/son and even father/daughter – but there are hardly any activities for mother/sons to do together. There is a lot of cultural discouragement of being close to sons – don’t want “mama’s boys” and make sure to “cut the apron strings” while it is expected that daughters should be close to both mom and dad. Moms of boys often feel “left out” – and those of us without sisters of our own are especially left out. But I understand that moms of any sons need encouragement and support, too. I don’t like anyone to be left out, either. But yeah, my friends with daughters often just do not understand the struggles of being the only female in the household.
This is an awesome idea! praying about doing this and also gave me an idea to do it with a “mom of girls”to! praying hard !
Ginger´s last [type] ..August’s 10 on 10
I apologize if I offended anyone. It was not my intent to do so. I simply wanted to underscore the importance of mothers supporting each other regardless of their life situation: mother of all boys, mother of some boys, stay at home mom, working mom, work from home mom, single mom, homeschooling mom, etc.
Heather, I am rejoicing that you found a way to minister to the MOBs in your area. It is so important to do what God is calling you to do!
Melissa, I appreciate your suggestion, but that isn’t something that will work for me right now. I am a work at home mom and I homeschool our children. Starting up a support group just isn’t feasible. This online community is my support group. I love the heart that the MOB society has for sons.
Again, it wasn’t my intent to create division.
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Supercharged Science
Since I am a mom of five boys and know many other families with only boys, I felt led to create a local Facebook group specifically for moms of boys only. I do know moms with a brood of boys and only one girl, but for now, I feel the same way as Heather explained in the post. There is a common bond and a uniqueness in being a mom, the only female, in a house full of boys. There are no tea parties or spa nights or tutus or girl talk going on in our homes. Just lots of testosterone, talk of cars, airsoft guns, xbox, and sports, roughhousing, and injuries. It is a wonderful blessing to be raising knights, but it also creates a special kind of crazy some days. It’s nice to have a few other moms that can understand exactly how you feel.
Christy´s last [type] ..The Easiest Summer Fruit Salads
I am a 30 year old mama of 3 boys. How I needed to see this! I have been feeling very lonely in this “only gal in the house thing.” My boys and hubby act wild and crazy, wrestling, hunting bears, etc…and I’m left by the wayside, watching the mayham unfold. I feel unimportant, as if my boys just need dad after all. It’s a wretched feeling. Reading this helps me to feel as though I’m not alone. Thank you for that. Near and far, we have a common bond–sons! Merry Christmas and be blessed this New Year!