My favorite part of the day, I confess, is after my children are asleep.
Those rowdy, rough-and-tumble men, arms out-flung, fallen soldiers on the battlefield of rest. They don’t fall asleep gracefully, my boys. They fall…head first, feet first, fighting every inch until they can fight no more. As my friend, and fellow boy-mom, Tickled Red says, “It’s a symphony of elbows, knees and feet that never changes… no matter how old they become.”
I love creeping into their rooms in the quiet dark to find them there, gentle and beautiful in their slumber. I tuck in an arm or a leg, adjust the blankets a bit, and then I lean in close and just breathe…there is nothing like it, that sweet in and out breath of them. The smell of asphalt and baby shampoo, Oreos and Eucerin. And something else inexplicable, primal, pure. Only a mother knows – I breathe them in, kiss them goodnight, and for a moment… everything is right with the world.
I naively assumed, when I was informed my second child was a boy, that he would be just like his older brother. Same parents, same genes, how different could two little boys be?
(I’ll pause for a moment ’til you stop laughing.)
While both healthy, and good sleepers, my oldest would constantly awaken in the night with one new, unidentified rash after another. Allergy testing and environmental adjustments left us with a diagnosis of “non-allergic eczema”. He’s almost outgrown it now, but as a toddler he would bloom with scaly, itchy skin in the middle of the night—a wet diaper, or a tiny bit of food left on his cheek could cause a painful flare-up. So many times I was administering calming lotions and ice packs at midnight just to get him back to sleep.
My second child ended up with asthma. I thought his brother’s rashes were bad! This was terrifying. Attacks came out of nowhere. The inhaler left him so hopped up on meds he could hardly look me in the eye, much less relax enough to sleep. Every cough brought on the fear that it was leading to the next attack. When he was sick—and that first winter it was often—I practically slept with his inhaler under my pillow.
How many nights have I fallen into a restless sleep only to be startled awake by the slightest noise from their rooms?
How many nights have I sat up in the wee small hours, cuddling a sick boy, smoothing hair from a hot forehead, or soothing his tears?
How many nights have I lain fretting over the unknown, assuming the worst, yet hoping I’m overreacting?
Have you ever wondered how God reacts when His children are suffering? Does God “sleep restlessly,” too? Are we constantly on His mind? Does His heart ache when He hears our cries of pain and worry?
If we are indeed made in the very image of God, then we have His emotional characteristics, too. This assures me that as much as we love and adore our children with emotions that are beyond words…God loves us ten times as much. A hundred times. More than we can even imagine…
I like to think that also means that sometimes, in the dead of night, He slips into our rooms just to kiss us goodnight and smell our hair.
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Oh, I thought I was the only one…thanks, now I can come out of the – smelling hair closet! I just woke up….left my youngest snuggled in his favorite spot – right next to me….and the last thing I did, was hold him close and smell that little boy smell….he’s too close on his brother’s heels…..leading into that next phase…I’m kissing what’s left of the chunky cheeks…and his big brother, who now looksme in the eyes…I still hold him in close…and smell the new smell..the man smell that is now taking over and as I do that, I consider how important hair must be….that God even mentioned it in his books…that it is so important..that we are so important…that he knows the number….LOVE this beautiful post!
I have a little guy too who has asthma and eczema. Every time he gets a cold I lie awake at night listen to his coughing to see if it does get worse and whether or not he needs his puffer and praying to God that he will get better.
Beautifully written.
love this! thank you and be blessed
Thanks for making me cry this morning….
(and I mean that in the nicest way possible!).
My “little” is 14 1/2. While we still cuddle (when he lets me), the wonderful little boy smell usually isn’t there anymore. lol It’s been replaced by a large amount of Axe, the upstairs reeking, er, scented with teenage man/child. But I do still peek into his room and watch him sleep…as I did with his 3 sisters before him. It was to remind myself that underneath that brash teenage bravado was my little child…and that I still loved them. Now I sometimes get to put my grandsons to sleep…and smell that wonderful little boy smell again.
love, love, loved this post because bedtime is my favorite time of day too.
and because i love my boys…every inch of them that falls into their beds. thank you for sharing!
Faye´s last [type] ..Hopping on…
I’m so relieved…I was afraid the hair smelling was a little “out there” even for a boy-mom, but it sounds like I am definitely not the only mom who sniffs her kiddos! Such sweet comments, gals, thanks for your encouragement.
What a blessing
Stephanie´s last [type] ..Ripe Cherry Tomato
Beautiful words and reminder that God created us as emotional beings.
Love to know there is a community of us who “smell” our kids…ever since I brought my first one home from the hospital, I’ve said that he smells like Sugar Cookies to me! Can’t wait to see what my next one (due in September) will smell like!
Alle´s last [type] ..New Happenings | Sponsors & HelloMornings
Oh my, that last bit brought tears to my eyes. I smell my boys hair ALL the time! Esp if I get the rare opportunity to snuggle with them.
Mom of 3 Busy Bees
6, 9, and 11 years old
Rhonda Tinkham´s last [type] ..Spelling Blahs Begone!~ Part 1
All this talk of hair smelling…hilarious! I will say this – having been a hair smeller since day 1, my pre-adolescent 9 year old hates to wash his hair. He’ll take a shower and not shampoo his hair, and can’t figure out how I always seem to know he hasn’t washed!
I can smell ya, dude. That ain’t the smell of shampoo…git back in there and SCRUB! What is it with boys and soap anyway? All the more reason to smell them when they ARE soapy clean, right? They smell so durn good!
Ha – I loved this “It’s a symphony of elbows, knees and feet that never changes… no matter how old they become.” My son AJ (2.5 years) is constantly shifting until he falls asleep…whew! But yes…I’m a hair smeller as well. And it’s nice to think of our Father checking in on us like that.