I cried as I relived the day. As we lay in bed whispering, I gave my husband a play-by-play of my failures for the day. One by one I gave voice to the good-intentions-gone-terribly-wrong and sank lower and lower in despair. It had become a habit for me, pointing out all of the things that I had wanted to do with my day, but couldn’t because of various reasons. My to-do list had been taunting me for months and I just couldn’t (and still can’t) figure out my new normal after a fussy, sleep-fighting baby entered the picture.
And then he said it.
“I dare you to name one thing you did right today.”
Boom. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn’t a complete failure.
The boys had gotten dressed in clean clothes that I had washed, dried, and folded.
They had eaten until they were full–meals I had planned, cut coupons, shopped for, and prepared.
They had laughed deep, belly laughs at fun I had orchestrated.
They had been read to.
Most importantly, they had seen their momma kneel at the foot of the Throne in desperate need of help from the Savior.
While it wasn’t too hard to come up with an answer, it did require me to get up out of my pit and step into the light. I know I’m not alone in this. I hear it in conversations all the time. Often as moms, we replay our shortcomings over and over like a broken record. We measure ourselves against each other or someone else’s opinion of what makes a good mom, and when we don’t measure up to those expectations, we condemn ourselves. And then, the guilt starts. Most of the time, we are our own worst enemy.
Often, we forget that there are a few things we’re doing right. I think it’s high time we stop playing the broken record and toot our horn.
Your turn: Tell me one thing you’ve gotten “right” today as a mom. I dare you…
——————————-
Are you a weary mom? Check out this comforting book co-written by our very own Brooke McGlothlin. It will be a balm to your weary mommy soul, we promise.
Since my day has just started, I haven’t done much just yet. But, I think on most days my greatest accomplishment is that I got up at the butt-crack of dawn, got myself ready, and then I got myself to work. I don’t want to do this, I want to sleep in & spend my day with my son, but my family needs my income. So against my deepest wishes & heart-felt desires, I go to work & earn a paycheck. And even though I think my son is growing up wonderfully well, and that DH and I do a great job as parents (even with, or despite of, or because of our weaknesses), sometimes I just have to pat myself on the back for doing something that I desperately do not want to do.
This is sooo good!! Another blogger had a post similar to this just this week. I know it’s God’s way of letting me know that I need to look for the good and quit dwelling on what I think are mess ups. Today, (Friday mornings are hard, everyone is tired and most of us are NOT morning people) I managed to get out the door to go to work without, prodding, pushing or refereeing!!! I am knowing its a good day!!
Piper´s last [type] ..Won’t You Join Me??
Virtual high-five! I’d love to read the other post you mentioned. Do you remember where it was?
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
Ohhh I wish I could remember…. I am such a blog stalker/hopper!!
Sorry!!
Piper´s last [type] ..Another Weekend!
Hmm since my day has just started…and I woke up late. I got out the door without screaming in frustration to my kids dragging their feet to get to school/work on time. I took a deep breath and realized it is Friday and we’ve been busy with two kids in different sports at this time so we are all tired. I did get to read my devotional this morning, And hung up my son’s shirt so it will be clean for his baseball game tonight. I love this post and it is an awesome message!! Thank you so much for it today. Have a blessed weekend!
Harmony´s last [type] ..Oh baseball!!
Just now getting a chance to reply, but thanks for tooting your horn with me! High five for spending time in the Word to get your day started! I have a hard time getting it done before the kids are up and running around at this stage with a baby.
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
What a much needed post! Even though I also read a very similar post last week, today seems to be the day that these words are needed. It’s only 11:30 and it wasn’t but five minutes ago that I called my husband, confident that I was about to have a mental breakdown due to the chaos in our home with a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 7 week old. I told him that I was concerned that when he got home from work someone (dog included) would either be missing or broken. He laughed with me and noted that he was taking dibs on me to be the one missing.
So with so many things that I feel I have done so wrong today, exactly what is it that I have done right? I made my children one of their favorite treats for breakfast (chocolate chip pancakes), I read them their devotion today, I listened to my 4-year old read a book completely on his own without any assistance from me, I successfully captured our run-away dog who was missing for over an hour and I have kept them all alive and in one piece….so far! 
Thank you so much for sharing your own frustrations and reminding me to look at the accomplishments of the day rather than focusing on the disappointments. I look forward to seeing what other accomplishments are added (or not) to the list by the time the day is over.
Meggen´s last [type] ..Snack Packs!
Hello?!?! Chocolate Chip Pancakes? Chasing a run-away dog? Sounds like a slam-dunk day to me! Thanks for sharing along with me! (Just now getting to comments after being out of town, but I’d love to see a link for the post you referenced. Any chance you remember where it was?)
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
I also meant to say, I went over to your blog to comment on your “Sleep Deprived” post and it wouldn’t let me post, but I am SO there with you! Eight months into sleep-deprivation and I am convinced it is the pure torture, as well. Hang in there, friend! Here’s to a nap and some perspective for both of us!
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
Sara, Oh my, 8 months? I am only into it 8 weeks. Torture indeed…but oh what sweet torture it is.
I am not sure why you couldn’t post on my blog. Comments have come through from others. Did it indicate any particular reason why it wouldn’t let you post?
The link you requested was posted in that blog post you visited (Sleep Deprived). I am assuming you noticed that when you hopped over but just in case…The Crazy Comes in Waves – http://godcenteredmom.com/2012/04/11/the-crazy-comes-in-waves/.
Meggen´s last [type] ..My Beautiful Thing
One thing I got right today? Well, my daughter is up, dressed, fed and playing happily in her room while I tackle Mt. Laundry. That is about it.
I needed to read this post today, so thank you so much for writing it!
~Cyn~
Cyn´s last [type] ..Diary of 5 – Week 17
You’re welcome, Cyn! Mt. Laundry…I know it so well. Tackling that is enough to strike up the band!
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
Well… *grinning sheepishly* since I’m an empty nester, I had coffee and my devotions to myself this morning, BUT!!! Our local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group met this morning and instead of tending the babys in MOPPETS, I was able to join the mommies during part of their meeting and hopefully encourage them that MOTHERING MATTERS. One MOPS mom shared a wonderful devotional on the trend of mommy guilt, isolation and the importance of community. It was so encouraging to the moms! My point in bringing this up is that your blog post is right on, and more moms need to hear messages similar to yours and what we heard at MOPS today. All moms matter to God and to us, and I hope you all can treasure each smudge, each laugh, and each hug from those little wiggly bundles of joy and their shenanigans. They grow up so soon, but God is always with you and He cares for each of you. He will never leave or forsake you, so look for Him in the things you did right – and the things that may have not gotten done.
And just love those babies and husbands! It matters, and so do you.
Thank you Allison! Your words encouraged me and I’m sure the moms at MOPS were encouraged as well.
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
served a special birthday donut *with sprinkles!!!* to my birthday girl . . . made it on time to the kids’ homeschool group sharing day and dutifully took pictures like the good proud mama I am . . . listened to a very long explanation of a cardboard robot . . .
Erin´s last [type] ..Miss Squeezy, First Grade Teacher
Virtual high-five! Sounds like enough to me! (Sorry for the delay in responding. We were out of town.)
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
Oh, Sara, I love this — so very needed for moms!!
Encouraged my recovering son, texted love to another. Prayed for them all!
Laura´s last [type] ..Steps, Sparkle, and Shine
Oh, Laura, the negative cycle we can get in is just horrible isn’t it? I fear I’m the worst at dwelling on all the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” stuff.
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
First, I have to say that I LOVR the hair on that little boy in the picture at the top of your page!! Reminds me of my little guy before his hair was heavy enough to lay flat down on his head!
Secondly, I am pretty sure that these are the things I did right today:
1) I served dinner of paper plates. I was wiped and I went easy on myself
2) Even though we spent the morning at a friend’s house, I did not stop at any fast food place to spend $$ I didn’t need to on lunch, but brought leftovers from last night to eat ( okay, so I spent too much on the Polska Kielbasa at Albertsons and should have paid $2 for a 20 oz coffee at gas station instead of $ 3. 50 for a 6oz at Starbucks– I believe in full disclosure!)
3) I read a chapter to the boys about semitruck racers!!
Your accomplishments made me smile. Paper plates…the only way to roll on a tough day! And your reason for leftovers…HA! Love it and your honesty! (Sorry I’m just now responding, we were out of town and I wouldn’t have been honoring my family time to respond to comments while traveling)
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
Thank you so much for the wonderful posts. It is such a blessing to have this blog as a resource. I have put the MOB Society on my nomination list for the Versatile Blogger Award.
Meggen´s last [type] ..I’ve Been Nominated!
hmmm…one thing i did right today? the boys were both dressed and happy (until nap/bedtime that is lol) for most of the day. i had time to myself thins morning to start asking for the help i needed in the “patience depatment”
Heather @ House of Woyaks´s last [type] ..Slam Dunkin’ It
Yay for happy boys! Yay for quiet time for Mommy!
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
This is so important and so hard to remember to do….today, I showed mercy to a son that made a mistake and all of my children are tucked safe in their beds with full bellies.
Melissa´s last [type] ..God is amazing (in)RL!
It. Is. So. Hard. Yes, ma’am. I really struggle in this area. It’s way easier to dwell on the negative. Plus, the accuser loves to heap even more on me during these times. Pretty soon I can’t move from the weight of it all.
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
Amazing truth!!! I am so in this place right now. Before I even started this Monday, I was listing off to my husband last night the various things I needed “to do” and how I doubted that it would be possible to get to them all (or any of them…). So today I’m going to focus on one thing I can do well. And as you said, I hope that it will be that I just point my kids to Christ at every chance I get. Thank you.
Emily´s last [type] ..On sleep and Joy and figuring it all out
Thanks for your honesty, Emily!
Sara M.´s last [type] ..Jonah says…
We had been having an oddly peaceful week. This morning it all started to fall apart. As I sat in despair wondering why I ever thought I could do this (parent, homeschool, wife) and the kids were crying/stomping/whining/fighting I decided to stop. I turned off the computer and the tv. I grabbed a puzzle and invited the loudest child to help me. While she turned the pieces over I prayed. I gave my day to God. That was what I did right. I remembered who had all my weaknesses covered.
And then hubby came home from being out of town for work…. a day early
Woot! Woot! Yay for the hubby coming home early! And yes, what you said about choosing the loudest one and pulling them in close for some “momma time”, such a good thing to remember. I can always tell when my son is competing for my attention.
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Broken Record