Twice today, I looked over at my husband, and found his lap very full.
The first time, our 11 year-old sat nestled in his strong arms. Talking over the morning’s events, his face fresh with contentment. The second lap-full, our 12 year-old… as tall as his Daddy, legs draped to the floor. Unfazed, he still finds complete comfort ; Daddy’s embrace a safety net in this confusing world.
It dawns on me that both scenes look kind of awkward, each a man-child, so big in their Daddy’s lap. They no longer curl up nicely in a compact way. In fact, they are kind of messy… just like everything else that is coming with this age.
It is no longer always a simple task to figure out the answers to their questions. The simple ,”Will you play a game with me?”, is now shortly followed with, “How will I know what God wants me to do in a couple of years? Will I know what job He has for me?”
Bumps and cuts that were once a band aid fix are turning into broken hearts to mend. And, I am learning, more and more, that the answer is letting go and watching God, and that fixing them sometimes requires allowing my own heart to break.
No, this young man age is not a simple one, but complex and ever-changing. And, let’s just be honest, it can be, dare I say, annoying. Temptation rears it’s head to respond in a “leave me alone” tone. Selfishness says “I don’t feel like playing with you right now, and I’ve heard about your dreams…. many, many, many times. I am busy right now.”
Keeping my mouth shut is the first step, and it is then that I am reminded just how few the years are that we have with them. In that quietness my heart is spoken to, the Holy Spirit, loud and clear, “Love him. Love him completely, as I love you.”
Then somehow, on the last ounce of strength left for the day, I find what it takes to play one more game of ping-pong, listen to one more story, dream one more dream.
The truth of this passing time is very evident, and I realize this is my only chance. Now is my one shot to love him completely, point him towards Christ-likeness, to be a real presence of Jesus.
The picture is clear to me… my boys in their Daddy’s lap…
Their security allows them to love and be loved.
The security we provide for them is, and will be, exactly how they view God.
Then, when Daddy’s lap really is too small, they will know it is okay to climb into their heavenly Father’s lap. For in His lap is perfect love and security.
A pastor’s wife and Mommy to 4 incredible boys, she finds most delight in caring for her family, standing in awe of God’s every day gifts and moment by moment love. She enjoys music, homeschooling her boys, reading, coffee with friends, and creativity. Drawn to all colors bright, she dreams of having her own large field of wild flowers. She shares her heart concerning all of these things and more at her blog Loving and Laughing, a Life Worth Living.