Hebrews 4:16–Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
I’ve got nothin’. Nada. Zilch. Not usually one to be at a loss for words, I find myself in new territory as I type…because, to be honest, I’m empty.
The past two months have been a whirlwind at our house–navigating life with a newborn (again) and training a big brother. It’s been down-right exhausting–physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I find myself completely spent in all realms and pleading at the foot of the throne.
Too little sleep.
Post-partum hormones running their course.
Words flung.
One little boy wondering aloud if Mommy loves him.
It’s an equation I know too well.
It’s in these empty moments that I’m reminded of my desperate need for a Savior. The perfect One–waiting to pour out grace on this empty vessel. All I have to do is ask.
Fill me up, Lord. Fill me up.
Fill me up to overflowing so I can splash your love and grace over all those closest.
In the middle of the night, when it’s just me and a nursing newborn…Fill me up.
In the early hours, when I have to force a “Good morning” from my lips…Fill me up.
As I deal with tantrums and a jealous big brother vying for my attention…Fill me up.
Fill me up, Lord. Fill me up.
Maybe you’re like me today–feeling empty and broken. He sees you. He loves you. Go to the foot of the throne. He’s waiting to fill you up. All you have to do is ask.
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Just in time…the MOB Society is teaming up with the MOD Squad (for mothers of girls) in a series called Hope for the Weary Mom. Find Brooke of the MOB Society, and Stacey of the MOD Squad sharing their hearts on Saturdays for the next couple of months. Today, Stacey opens our series for all of the weary moms.
Thank you! All I can say is thank you! I am 37 weeks with my first and have been on bed rest since 18 weeks. We have moved in that time and my husband has been working full time (thankfully). I often feel overwhelmed by the state of our house, figuring out where money trees grow, and trying to mentally prepare for my child. I have been stretched in ways I could have never imagined, thank you Lord, but feel like I might rip eventually. Thank you for your vulnerability and encouragement! Blessings to you and your family!
Grace~While not on true bedrest, I too, was very sick during my pregnancies. Hang in there! You’re in the home stretch! Praying for you as you transition to life with a child. In all seriousness, email me if you need someone to talk to & encourage you. Hugs! Thank you for being vulnerable with me today
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
Ohhhh, Sara! I’m so sorry for your emptiness, but I can totally relate. My oldest (who is 6) also voices aloud whether or not Mommy loves him (my youngest is 2.5). It breaks my heart…and sometimes just tosses me even deeper into that downward spiral of despair and weariness. Thank God that our Lord will always be there to lift us up…to hide us in his shelter and set us on the rock (Psalm 27:5)!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us today!
Steph @ MomKaboodle´s last [type] ..30 Days of Thanksgiving: Teaching Kids to be Thankful
Thanks for the encouragement Steph (to me and all the other mommies, too!) Motherhood has been the most sanctifying out of all my life events so far. It daily reminds me of my need for a Savior.
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
I can relate Sara. We had our 1st two boys 23 months apart and I spent much of the 1st year of our little guys’ life not knowing whether we would make it through the first year.
It does get better. It’s hard to see that right now, and there will be different problems that come up as they get older, but it WILL get easier. Not easy…just easier.
You’re not alone. And your openness and transparency will let other moms of newborns know that their feelings are normal and that there’s nothing wrong with them. Thank you Sara!
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..Hope for the Weary Mom
I know it gets better! Holding on to that in the hard times~which are not ALL the time, just some of the time. We have had some beautiful moments of pure joy and “normalcy” around here. And just think, by the time I get everyone stabilized, it will be time to travel for our adoption and shove us back to square one!
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
Fill me up Lord…I have a two year old, a one year old, and I’m 5 months pregnant. It was planned, and yet at times all I can do is sit and cry because I stay at home with them, and it’s HARD. I feel so empty most days…so guilty for not being able to do everything for everyone. So alone because no one seems to want to be around me because of the craziness. I cry out to God at the foot of His throne and yet some days I just can’t…I just can’t see the light, the hope. It gets better? I’m holding on to that promise. Some times I want to say I deserve everything I get and no one wants to hear me complain because we chose this…but it’s still hard! Thank you for this post..thank you for being vulnerable and honest…transparent.
Marybeth´s last [type] ..Thankful Thursday
Thank you for being vulnerable with me today, Marybeth! He is able to get you through this. And that whole thing about being everything to everyone…not your job. You can let that one rest at the foot of the cross. BIG hugs to you! I’d totally hang out if you lived nearby!
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
Okay, I know I commented already….but I’m subscribed to the comments and seeing the new ones coming in. Ladies, I wish I lived near you! I’d bring my crazy kiddos over so our kids could play and do your dishes or something….(anyone in the CT area??)
I’ll do what I CAN do from here – which is to pray for you wonderful mommies. YES this time is hard – SO HARD! But God has trusted US with these wonderful blessings (that belong to HIM – I have to remind myself of this constantly), and some days the most important thing we can do is get on the floor and play with them….and connect with them….dishes and housework be darned! Praying that He’ll send some helpful hands your way!
<3
Steph @ MomKaboodle´s last [type] ..30 Days of Thanksgiving: Teaching Kids to be Thankful
Hi Sara,
Your post completely captures my life right now. I have five young children including infant twins! Two boys 5 and 4 years old and a daughter who is 2. Plus my boy/girl twins who are 2 months. My twin little girl has had to be in and out of the hospital these past months with breathing and eating problems. She is slowly getting healthier. I feel like I’m carrying about 200 lbs. on my back.
I have been at the end of myself so many times these past weeks. I constantly feel that guilt of not having enough time with each of my kids. I completely get what Marybeth said, “I feel so empty most days…so guilty for not being able to do everything for everyone. So alone because no one seems to want to be around me because of the craziness.”
I can’t tell you how encouraging it is to know I’m not alone in this. God is with me and other moms are walking this road too. I have experienced closeness with Jesus and seen his provision in deeper ways than ever before. Thank you Jesus for trials. They bring us to our knees, to the Cross and to real joy. I am realizing how weak I truly am. I am a poor beggar at the King’s table of Grace.
…oh, and I wanted to mention that there have been lots of older moms who have told me that, yes, this season does pass and I won’t always be exhausted.
Oh, girl. Hugs and prayers to you! I love what you said:
“I am realizing how weak I truly am. I am a poor beggar at the King’s table of Grace.”
Amen. Motherhood has truly brought me to an understanding of my desperate need for a Savior.
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
I am right there with you!!!!!! Having a new born, that came early, dealing with a 3 year old who is jealous and tests the waters to see how far she really can go. Taking care of the other 3 that are 4, 7, and 9! At the end of the day I am so tired and weary!
Running to His throne is what is helping. I know this season of life will be just a glimpse.
stephanie@bowmania´s last [type] ..It’s Gone!
Here’s to a nap for all of us! Wouldn’t it be great?!?!
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
I feel the same too! I had my baby when my son turned 2.5 and it’s been hard since. My summer was just horrendous. I felt so empty and and an awful mom! I am seeing some light, but yes, I try to fill up every morning and even in those moments of the day! Thanks for your transparency!
I wondered why I hadn’t seen you around “blogland” in a while. Praying for all of us as we are in “newborn fog”. And take the phrase “awful mom” out of your vocabulary right this instant! You are a great mom!
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
As a mama who has been there (my boys are now 18, 15 and 14) I can say I vividly remember the days of physical and mental exhaustion all too well. But, those days do pass and they pass quickly. God will sustain you and the memories of this time will get you through the teen years!
Melissa´s last [type] ..Why we need clean hearts
thank you Melissa for the reminder!
Stephanie´s last [type] ..It’s Gone!
Thank you Melissa for the encouragement! I have a feeling I’ll be wear during the teen years, too!
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
*weary
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty