Every single day I get so mad at my boys at one point or another that I cannot even contain my frustration in my tone of voice. Or eyebrows. Or stature.
I tense up. I close my eyes. I flare my nostrils. I stare daggers.
What you think I look like.
What my boys think I look like.
Occasionally I even get aggravated to the point that my body seems to want to willfully act out against me and my love for my boys. Like a person possessed, my hand reaches out to grab little arms more firmly than needed, seemingly out of my control. Fingers dig a little too tightly. Legs move a little too swiftly for small boys to keep up.
I do this enough times until I find myself in bed one night, crying to God for the patience and grace to guide my boys with. Sure that I’m the worst mother in the world.
But finally, after many tears, and many years, God has given me a few simple tools to diffuse my demonic mommy possession. Here is one of them.
When I am absolutely at my very angriest and most frustrated … I reach out, wrap both arms around the boy of the moment, and hug the ever living daylights out of him.
And my fury melts.
I think God probably hugs me more than I realize.
-Jessica from Bohemian Bowmans
I liked this post. I have 2 boys who push my buttons and I wonder what face my oldest sees the most in me ;( I want to remember to try this hugging-thing for the times they frustrate with their childishness.
Thank you
Tracy @ Hall of Fame Moms´s last [type] ..Have you seen a Sensitive Plant move? [video]
It really does work!
Jessica Bowman´s last [type] ..Hugs Heal
Thank you for sharing so honestly. It’s easy to feel alone in the frustration!
Believe me, I know!
Jessica Bowman´s last [type] ..Hugs Heal
Oh, Jessica, I have memories of BOTH faces in my mirror! You’re so right — a hug dissolves so much, just melts it away. Love this post!
Laura´s last [type] ..Teens and Moms
I am determined to let my boys see more of the first face than the second!
Jessica Bowman´s last [type] ..Hugs Heal
Just….Thank You! Words so needed this morning. I am deeply moved….
I’m deeply moved that you’re deeply moved. So thank you, too.
Jessica Bowman´s last [type] ..Hugs Heal
Thank you.
A hug does melt it away!
Wonder if this works for other people frustrations? Haha
Hugs
Good point. Maybe we should start hugging strangers that annoy us in the grocery line and such.
Jessica Bowman´s last [type] ..Hugs Heal
LOVED LOVED LOVED THIS POST!!!! SO been there and so in need of the hugs. We do tickling in our house too. Helps a ton. ~Jessica
thesavingmom (jessica)´s last [type] ..Yesterday my husband yelled at me
I need to do this! My son pushes my buttons and I find myself crying about my behavior more than his. A hug is a grand idea!!!!
What would Jesus Do? – Hug em!!!
I have one child I hug a lot because she’s easy to hug and another I hug a lot because I need to diffuse my anger : )
Great post, Jessica.
THANK YOU!
I NEED to start doing this.
Oh! How I look forward to how our days will be.
Unfortunately–
I can relate…way too much.
Even if it’s not in words, my “dagger stare” says plenty.
Thinking on this.
God’s forgiveness.
His hug.
His affirmation.
It’s a like a long, slow, deep breath of relief.
How much might be resolved if I would just do this with our boys?
Great post…
Kara @ The Chuppies´s last [type] ..Sharing About My Rats Today Over at The Better Mom
Thanks for admitting this and for sharing what you do to help with it. I will be giving out a lot of hugs tomorrow.
God’s timing is amazing! I needed to hear this today. Thank you so much.
I would never even think of taking a picture of what my son thinks I look like! I have often wondered what he sees when I get so upset with him I can’t think straight. I KNOW it’s. not. pretty. Thank you for this, Jessica. I needed to read it. We’ve had a hard day and I think some of it could have been diffused if I had taken your advice.
Heathahlee´s last [type] ..R.I.P. Gertrude
Now that my little boys are teens and a 10yo…wishing it could work on them. If they weren’t 6’3 and 5’9 I would tickle them!