“Every man feels that the world is asking him to be something he doubts very much he has it in him to be.” ~John Eldredge, Wild at Heart
I hear so often people lamenting the fact that there aren’t many REAL men out there leading the way – in church, in families and so on. Is this discontent happening where you live as well?
And while it is good to ask questions, figure out root causes, and challenge men to step up where they are now, it is BETTER for us as moms of boys to take action NOW with the future men God has entrusted to us.
As I am re-reading Wild at Heart, there are SO many things jumping out to me as challenges directly to us as mothers to raise leaders starting at a very young age.
The first problem is with what our culture has been saying…
“The idea, widely held in our culture, is that the aggressive nature of boys is inherently bad, and we have to make them into something more like girls.”
I am a girl. The “aggressive nature” of my boys caught me completely off guard. And my natural inclination was to stifle that.
#1 – It’s almost impossible to suppress.
#2 – That is not allowing them to be who God designed them to be.
#3 – In stifiling their aggressive nature, I would be taking away an essential asset for them as a leader.
When I say “aggressive,” please do not read “bully” or “dictator” or anything along those lines.
I know when the word “aggressive” is mentioned, Scriptures about turning the other cheek and peace and such will be brought up as a counter argument. I do NOT want to raise men who push people around. But I love what Eldredge has to say on this very point…
“Yes, Scripture teaches wise use of strength and the power of forgiveness. But you cannot teach a boy to use his strength by stripping him of it.”
This is where I needed a wake-up call. If we want to raise men who step up to all God has for them, men who accept challenges and fight battles, men who lead the way into new lands to conquer, men who STAND UP FOR JESUS, we cannot take away their God-given strength.
Which brings me to the next issue…
I say no too much – to running and jumping and play-fighting and the like.
I used to say it a lot more, but I am seeing the good that come out of situations that seem crazy and out-of-control to me. I let them wrestle it out and feel strong. I let them play-fight and they develop stories of good defeating evil. I don’t jump into an argument right away and I see character develop as one boy learns to listen or forgive or agree to disagree.
God’s designs are never flawed. He made our boys exactly who He wanted them to be so they would become exactly the men He designed them to be.
“But God’s design – which he placed in boys as the picture of himself – is a resounding yes. Be fierce, be wild, be passionate.”
And we are the ones to tell them YES to all that God made them to be, so that one day they WILL become the passionate leaders so many are looking for today.
Will you accept this challenge?
**All quotes taken from Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. As a mom of boys, and probably a wife as well, this is a must read.**