After our 2nd date I knew I wanted to marry him.
And after countless more dates, we got hitched. After the wedding, we had more dates still. And after the babies came…well, not so many.
Our kiddos are 11 and 7, and we still haven’t figured out how to go out on regular dates. Our situation has always been complicated by our military lifestyle and my husband’s traveling. We have been able to round up babysitters through the years in the form of church ladies or responsible teenagers. Also, we have swapped sitting duties with friends of ours, taking their kids so they could go out and vice versa. But, as far as scheduling a weekly (or even monthly!) babysitter for a regular date night? It hasn’t happened.
Would I like to get out more with my man? Yep, and I probably should make a more intentional effort towards that goal. But I’m not beating myself up over it.
Why?
Because my man and I do date, we just don’t often leave the house to do so.
For us, a date is about connecting and conversation. It’s about discussing the days’ highs and lows, what is going on and what we want to go on in our family. It’s about taking time to remember what attracted us to each other in the first place and why we got hitched. This can happen outside and inside our home.
After our kiddos are in bed (which is somewhere between 8 and 9 on weeknights), we sit on the couch and just talk. This doesn’t happen every night, but it does happen more often than not. Sometimes we share a treat, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we will talk for 10 minutes, sometimes an hour. Sometimes we stop to work on respective duties, sometimes we stop to watch a movie. Either way, we are connecting and that’s the important part of any date. We are investing time in each other so we remain boyfriend and girlfriend as well as husband and wife.
We don’t do this perfectly. We both have to intentionally shut the laptops and ignore the shouting “to do’s” calling from both work and home (so hard sometimes)! David may work late or I may have an evening activity. Life happens and unexpected events suck the night dry.
All we can do is the best we can do.
Why date your man? Because your relationship with him is the most important one. The best gift you can give your young’uns is a model of a healthy marriage where love is displayed.
And a little PDA. Seriously.
Hey, someday these kiddos are going to fly the coup and the only ones home will be you and your man.
What do you do to remain your husband’s girlfriend and nurture your relationship with him? Do you find that dating happens more inside or outside your home?
I ask myself everyday (and sometimes ask him too) how can I help him today? He really appreciates that and I’ve seen us get closer because of it.
Awesome idea, Megan!
Girl, you just made me feel a whole lot better about not having regular date nights! We don’t know anyone who can babysit for us. Sometimes my sister will come, but she lives 45 minutes away and has three kids of her own – not practical for a regular night.
But hubby and I do spend time together in the evenings. Our best conversations are when he comes home late from work. While he’s eating dinner, I ignore the kids and focus solely on him. OK, I don’t *really* ignore the kids. They are supposed to be putting toys away and getting ready for bed and I ignore the fact that they aren’t, because time with hubby is important.
Even last night, we stayed up way too late playing playstation. I was planning on finishing the ironing, but made the better choice to spend time with him. We had so much fun and it was so worth it!
Rachel @ the science of music´s last [type] ..Friday Photo–Play Ball!
Rachel, I sometimes do the same thing. My youngest is 7, so I can tell them to “hang tight” while I chat with Daddy and not worry that the house will burn down. We are able to connect and they reap the benefits of that!
Great feedback!
Love that kristen and love getting to know you at Relevant…we try to ‘date” at least 1 time per month, but that is a try, does not always happen…I want to make it happen though, now…thanks for the reminder!
melissa newell´s last [type] ..When God Shone Down
Loved meeting you, too, Melissa!
Once my boys got older, the dating took place outside the house! That 8:00 bedtime no longer applied, and it seemed the boys were up almost as late as we were.
My last son is a college freshman this year, and we spent the last year being really intentional about this. We’re busy people, doing good things…but they can easily be separate things. We’ve had to MAKE time for the two of us, together. And it’s been GREAT! Important post!
Laura, inside or outside the home, it’s all about being intentional, right?
We have littles, so they go to bed early- 6:30 and 7. Our challenge is intentionally spending those evening hours together and not immediately going from bedtime routine to all the stuff we each need to get done. I’ve read a few blogs doing the 52 date nights a year challenge, and they are inspiring!
Tori´s last [type] ..Dear Papa Jack
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