Has anyone else noticed that there is nothing in the Bible about teaching our boys to remain boys?
As I read my Bible and think about parenting, I am immediately struck with how wrongly most of our culture is approaching raising boys.
Cultures in the past often put 13 year old boys in charge of ships and farms, yet we cottle them as though they are toddlers. I long for my boys to leave my home at the end of high school as men, not as boys. I want to see integrity and maturity in their lives that surpasses what I see in most adult men, let alone teenage boys. It IS possible, they CAN be men at that age, but we have to expect that out of them and give them the confidence and tools that they need while praying hard that God changes their hearts.
I am not proposing that we put our boys to hard labor at the age of 8, but what I am saying is that we focus too much on making our children happy, and not enough on teaching them how to be Godly. We spend too much time teaching them to dribble a basketball, and too little time helping them learn the scriptures which are the key to life and Godliness. We as parents (myself included) need to steep ourselves in God’s Word so that we can speak it into their lives and prepare them to be the men that God intends them to be.
I am woefully unprepared for this task. I have failed in so many ways as a Christian, husband, and daddy. But we serve a merciful, powerful King who is able to overcome my own faults and failures to accomplish these goals. I have faith in Him to accomplish more than we ask or imagine, He is the only one who can truly change my boys sinful hearts. I will teach my boys to dribble a basketball, but am committed to not allowing the things of this world to crowd out by boys search for their King.
Brad the Quad Dad
www.4tunate.net
Have I mentioned that I love having a male voice on here Brad? I have?
I think we have an epidemic on our hands of boys who were raised to be boys, not men. MY CEO at work has been working a lot on the concept that you spoke of here about 13 yo boys being treated like men and I think there’s something to it. He has been focusing on the spiritual aspect and encouraging men to “bring their boys to the table” so to speak, like was done in Biblical times. The sons were, from then on, engaged in trying to understand the Word of God like the men…treated like men and embraced into the fold.
I love that and hope that the Lord provides us with a way to do it with our boys.
Thank you once again Brad, for a challenging article.
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..Beautiful- Biblical Womanhood – Abigail
Thanks Brooke, I enjoy writing here as well, really appreciate the opportunity.
Your CEO is onto something. Not in ALL cases, but in general, I am convinced that teenage boys carry on as boys because no one stepped into their lives to announce that they are now men, and are expected to act like men.
It’s time we raise the bar….
YES!! This is my heart. I’ve been noticing more in my 9 yo that there is a bit of floundering. I think it is an age thing – not a child anymore, but not really a teen. He is a deep thinker, so I’m have begun challenging him and encouraging him to examine his study more closely, and be more responsible in his actions and stepping up to be the gentleman. It is difficult for a single mom, who is primarily responsible for teaching these things. I so appreciate MOB Society because it is giving me help with the resources I feel so desperate for, so that I can raise Godly men!!
Trena, Turning boys into men is a tough challenge for any parent, you as a single parent have it as tough as anyone. However, no dad or mom can truly change the human heart, so we all have to trust our Heavenly Father to do that.
God is certainly capable of turning your boy into a Godly man, I will pray for him to do so for you!
I love this! Ok, part of me doesn’t but that’s the part that wants them to stay little forever. But I know that they will grow up, regardless of my mom-desires. It’s what we all do. And I’d rather them be men than boys. I’d rather them be godly than athletic. I’d rather them possess the fruits of the spirit than a sweet truck. I’d rather them follow the 10 commandments than the crowd.
S Club Mama´s last [type] ..frustrated mommy
I would love to freeze my boys at 3 too, really enjoying this stage. And, I do plan to do what I can to help them excel in sports, you nailed it, I just want to see them do well in things that last even more!
Brad you nailed it right on the head. I work in a large youth ministry, and it’s sad but not surprising to see many boys (and girls) growing up physically, but not growing in spiritual maturity or adult responsibility. It’s not what I’d say is the “norm” but it’s definitely an issue with some kids. It’s time to raise that bar and hold them responsible.
Dawn´s last [type] ..Summer Curriculum Clear Out
“we focus too much on making our children happy, and not enough on teaching them how to be Godly” AMEN!! It’s so easy to fall into, but I think this is one of the roots of much that is wrong with this current generation of youth. We are youth pastors and see a lot of this first-hand and AAAAHHHH!! Their attitudes are often so obviously from parents who have catered to them and tried to make them ‘happy’ and never let them experience consequences or responsibility.
Of course, I am sure like anything else, this is probably all easier said than done! My boys are only 3 and much of these parenting skills have yet to be tested. Please pray that Jen and I would have the wisdom to follow through on this Biblical thinking.